Take your time
by bibbii7
Summary: Elena is telling her story about how she fell in love with Damon through a blog. They used to be best friends, she endured every little up and down in their relationship till one crushing night. Will he be able to make up for it? ALL AU/AH. Damon & Elena
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** The words in italics are flashbacks/her memories and the interrupting normal writings are - so to say - her comments to what happened back then. Just so you won't get confused :) Also, the part in the beginning where she's starting her blog is in the present.

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><p>Dear um, people. Or is it readers? Well, whatever. You know what I mean.<p>

I don't know how this entire thing usually works but many people use blogs, so I thought why not and try it on my own.

First, to be polite, I should introduce me. So, my name is Elena Gilbert, sweet 19 years young and I preferably describe myself as a partly freaked out but mainly average teenage girl. Here in Mystic Falls things never get boring and I couldn't imagine my chaotic life without my lovely, yet crazy friends in it. Especially not without my bestie Caroline or… _him._

Yeah, I assume you now know where this story is leading to. I know there are already thousands and thousands stories like this out there but still, my story goes a little bit.. differently and the ending might surprise you. In my drama, it's not always rainbows and butterflies..

Phew, I guess the best way to start this thingy is to start at the beginning about 3 years ago. Right where the trouble got going, then you can judge if it's either pathetic or chliché. I tend to add up both to but here we go…

_**8th October 2008 - "It drinks the human, it boozes the horse. Today it's vice versa**_"

"_C'mon Elena, don't be a coward. It's a game. Drink it" – "I already drank.. enough. Last thing I need.. is a hangover tomorrow.." – "Coward!". Nobody calls me a coward, I thought and confidently downed a drink with one gulp "Well then, let's continue. The next round is on me", Tyler proclaimed loudly. _

Why again had I agreed to this? Oh right, I had lost a bet to Tyler, Matt, Katherine and Caroline. I had a bet with them that Kat could easily seduce Elijah. He had actually always had an eye on her, but what can I say. Plan failed. He had somehow figured our plan out and wasn't one to play a double game. Now I had to face the consequences of the nuisance.

_I shifted the next drink. Everything span around. Geez! Provide the bucket, folks. „G-g-guys, en.. ough is.. enough. Reall-ay. I can't.. not even a-a slug..", I moaned. They all seemed to be way too amused to show the slightest inclination to stop till a male voice suddenly barged in. "Hey guys, you had your fun. Better search someone new to befuddle". Strong hands lifted me up and sustained me. _

If I had known at this moment, who it'd been, I probably would have completely gone for him – even in the circumstances obtaining back then. I would have had even a petty excuse. It was not the case, just for your information and now back to the embarrassment cause it's so much fun..

_Hell no. „Dad? Lemme go. I'm.. I..", I mumbled. Everyone bursted in laughter, "Whaaaat..?", I eagerly demanded. "Okay guys, I'll get her home now before.." – "Nah, Caroline, just stay here. I'll take over", the lower voice answered. "You sure, Damon?". Damon?Wait, what? I felt thunderstruck and like my stomach had sunk down. "Yes. Bye guys, see you around!". Blurry, I saw them saying good bye and waving. "And now let's get you home, boozehound", Damon spoke under his breath. "I.. still need my jack.." – "Is here, too". Piece by piece, we stumbled all along the way to my house and stopped at our gate. "How do you.." – ".. know your home? Well, usually I know where all cool people live"._

I'm not so sure if he said it exactly like that but I'm firmly convinced about it.

"_Will you find the remaining way alone?", he asked nicely. "Sure", I replied a bit conceited and promptly tripped up on the way. I just held on to our fence. "Even so". Damon rolled his eyes. Then he put his arm around my waist and together we walked clumsily to the front door. "Key?" – "Pocket". _

Thank God, Jenna and Jeremy weren't home that day.

_Damon opened the door and brought me in my room. "I feel miserable", I complained as I lay down. "And that quite rightly", he retorted. "Anything you need?"- "A slap in the face", I whispered scarcely audible. "Sorry, what did you say?", he requested. "N-nothing.." - "Probably I must have misheard. Well.." – "Damon?", I asked in a fragile voice. "Yeah?" – "Thank you", I breathed. For a moment it was silent. "You're welcome", he answered smiling. "Good night, Elena. Sleep it off", then he left._

Alright, getting drunk wasn't my most brilliant idea ever but still, it managed to make him take care of me. What a success.

_The night passed by quickly and awake by an unfavourable noise. My head hurt like thousands of needles stuck in it. "Jenna! Jer! Please someone answer the bell!", I yelled bugged. "Think about who you're talking to, young lady. Not to mention yesterday evening.I still have a word with you", she took advantage of her authority. Yada yada yada as if I didn't know it myself. I heard Jenna rush to the door, "Hello? May I ask who you are?" – "My name is Damon. Damon Salvatore. I wanted to check on Elena. Is she here? May I come in?", he said in a husky voice. Oh snap.._

**To be continued..  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Like in the previous chapter the flashbacks and thoughts back then are in _italics_ and the present and comments are in normal writing. I also wanted to thank everyone who reviewed on the first chapter for their kind words and that I'm really glad you liked it.

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><p>„<em>Would you excuse me for a moment? I'll shortly look after her", Jenna said politely. <em>

"_No problem", he responded._

_I was still lying in my bed, when Jenna scampered up the stairs and downright barged in my room. "There's a guy downstairs"_

"_Yeah, I got that", I said, taking it quite for granted. Probably the hottest of them all, my mind continued._

"_He wants to see you..", Jenna frowned at me. "Please tell me you didn't do anything stupid yesterday", she demanded. _

"_Like what?", I took a deep breath. "Getting drunk? Well, you're a bit late for that". _

_Damn, my headache was killing me and a speech wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear right now. I'll never drink again._

But of course. Cough. Cough.

„_No, you dummy. I meant stupid like that kind of stupid after which girls end up on MTV's 16 and pregnant", she simplified._

_My mouth dropped open. "Ew, Jenna! Why on earth would you think that of me,, huh?"_

"_I'm just saying. I'm sure some of your schoolmates might have come up like this", Jenna unveiled casually. "Anyway, back to that Damien guy.."_

"_Damon", I interrupted her quick like a shot and paused. "His name is Damon"_

"_Well, then Damon. I'd better tell him to come back another time, you still need to rally of.."_

"_No Jenna, it's fine. I'm doing well. Send him up", I entreated. _

"_Um, let me think..", Jenna paused to contemplate. "Okay.. Probably, your hangover is a condign punishment right now, but you won't get out of your trouble like that. We'll resolve this later"._

_After that she went down and with a simple "Come inside. She's upstairs" she invited him in._

_I felt a bit unwell and knowing that he'd show up in my room in a few seconds didn't make it any better._

_Someone knocked on my door. "Yeah?"_

"_May I come in?", Damon asked carefully._

Who knew Damon Salvatore could be sensitive? If he had only always used these kind of qualities. Would have saved us a lot at times.

_He entered the room with a sardonic grin. "How are you doing, boozehound?"_

"_Shut up. I feel ashamed of myself enough. You don't have to rub it in", I looked at him regretfully._

_He regarded her room with curiosity. "Tcha, that's what comes of it"_

"_So, you're just here to patter or?", I slanged him and pained screwed my face while sitting up. _

Hangovers are not cool, guys. Totally not cool.

"_What did you think?", he asked specifically. _

_Good question. What exactly did I think? Beside what I had heard him telling Jenna, I had no idea why he'd even make an effort to check on me. Yes, we used to go to the same preschool, yet barely talked to each other because we went in different groups. The day I met him was when he and his best friend visited our group and joined our replica of "Snow White". _

Guess who was picked as Snow White and her Prince Charming?

Um yeah, I guess that's enough information on that, so I'll just leave it at that. And let's just say, since then he has occurred to me.

_And as chance would have it, we were divided in the same class in primary school. We rarely had anything to do with each other except maybe the daily bus ride but still, as we grew older and older my attraction towards him rose and he had been subconsciously floating around in my head._

"_I don't know. Maybe checking on me like you earlier told Jenna?", I answered honestly._

"_Eavesdropper on top of that", he shook his head and gave me a reproving look._

_I glared at him. "What are you up to, Damon?"_

"_Nothing. Just checking on a good friend of mine", he imitated me._

"_Damon, we aren't good friends. So what is it you really want?", I insisted._

_He smiled and regarded my photos on my wall. "As I said before Elena. Just looking after you"._

By the way, you have to know it was one of his "I'm up to no good and you're involved in it" smiles.

"_Err, thanks". I sceptical pinched my eyes together and tried to infer something from it._

"_Tomorrow's sunday. Anything planned already?"_

"_Not that I know of. Why?"_

"_Great. Now you do. 7 o'clock should fit the bill", he declared joyful._

_Now he had made me curious. "And what shall that be?"_

"_You'll find out soon enough"_

"_Why so mysterious, Mister Salvatore?", I grinned._

"_Why so curious, Miss Gilbert?", he teased mischievously back._

_He walked towards my bed and sat down next to me. "How is your hangover doing?, he asked with a more serious voice now._

_I shrugged. "In for a penny, in for a pound I guess"_

"_It happens to everyone once", he winked at me._

"_Has it already happened to you?"_

_Damon let out a brief laugh. "You haven't the faintest idea." _

He told me the story another time. All I'm going to reveal is that it happened at the first time he went out and ended as a fairly embarrassing evening with a completely sloshed Damon and a not so pleasing surprise. But hush.

"_What happened?"_

_He lifted his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"_

"_What changed your mind? Why are you suddenly interested in me? You have to admit it's quite out of the blue", I explained._

"_Why ever not?"_

"_Fine, keep it to yourself. Sometime I'll get to the bottom of it", I put him on his guard. "Ow"_

_His eyes were filled with concern. "What's wrong?"_

"_Never mind. It's just my head", I downplayed it with a smile._

_Damon still stayed for quite a while and they talked about every possible trash, about her allegedly dating Matt or him being the greatest player walking around the school halls of Mystic Falls High. _

Which, by the way, turned out to be true.

_He was shortly about to leave and they had already said goodbye. _

"_Damon! I still don't know what we're going to-"_

"_Let it take you by surprise!", he warbled while moving downstairs. Next, a door slammed shut._

Right there the ball started rolling. To make matter worse, it was more like a snowball that was rolling down a huge mountain and increasing step by step.

The upcoming day he showed up. About 15 minutes late.

"_Hey there", he said content and approached. I was leaning against the doorframe. I had spent the last few minutes agonizing over what might have happened. Whether he would show up at all or had just made fun out of me. In plain English, it had been pure hell for my already overwrought nerves that ultimately realized I had an acutal date with Damon fucking Salvatore and for the fluttering in my belly. _

"_You're late", I pointed out. _

"_Oh come on pouty, I wasn't that late", he said smirking. _

_I bit my lower lip. "Well, still you let me wait. A real gentleman does not make a lady wait. Luckily, I'm in a good mood, so I forgive you." I replied sassily. _

"_Oh wait, you forgive me? Wow, now I'm truly relieved, you know. I thought you'd throw me under a bus, let me rot in hell, kill me with your darkest look" He grinned. "Something poetic."_

_I gave him an annoyed look. "Damon?"_

"_Yes, Elena?", he said, awakened by attention._

"_Just shut up, okay?"_

_He smiled. "Okay, let's go."_

"_Although I might have considered your suggestions at some point."_

_I grabbed my jacket and told Jenna we were leaving. _

_As we walked through the front door, we heard her yelling after us. "Have a nice evening! And don't forget, behave yourselves!"_

_Let's see…_

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><p><strong>Please leave a review, thanks in advance :)<strong>

Next chapter I'll do a time jump in the past, so you'll see how their relationship evolved back then. Maybe you'll also find out more about their current relationship in the present. Maybe..


	3. Chapter 3

First of all I want to thank you for all your kind words. They make me really happy and now here's the third chapter dedicated to all of you who read it. Please enjoy and feel free to comment.

P.S. Like always the words in_ italics_ are flashbacks and normal writing is in the present or Elena's comments.

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><p>Hey everyone,<br>have you already missed me? Well, I know I did but life keeps me quite busy lately. I'm moving and my roommate is giving me a hard time because of that. We often have little arguments about it, even today morning. She tries with all her might to make me come around. Our conversation this morning went kinda like this:

_"Morning honey. Did you sleep well?" I asked, smiling._  
><em>"Already packed your bags?"<em>  
><em>The atmosphere darkened.<em>  
><em>"Most of them." "Then I had a nightmare."<em>  
><em>"Oh come on Caroline. You knew (some) such thing would happen sometime and it's not like I want to leave." I paused and took a deep breath. "I simply have no choice."<em>  
><em>"There's always a choice." Caroline said confidently.<em>  
><em>"Not in this case and you know it."<em>  
><em>"You leave me just because of Damon?"<em>

After mentioning him our talk got out of hand and things got ugly again.  
>Yeah, Damon. When was it ever not about Damon? Somehow, he managed to constantly mess up my life and every howsoever damn little thing got back on him. Everything was effected by him. Everything.<p>

Well, I ran a bit off topic. Most likely you're curious to know what happened at the date, right? Sorry to disappoint you but nothing noteworthy. Except towards the end maybe.

We went to the movies and watched some cute romantic comedian. I'm also sorry for that but I'm just into those kind of movies, okay? I kinda do belive in such storys and happy endings. Call me delusional, I don't care. However, Damon insisted that it was "cheesy crap". Later on, we made a slight detour to a café where we actually had fun. He knew how to make one to enjoy oneself. Afterwards he carried me home and dropped me on our front door.

Oh, the awkward moment when you're standing at your front door with your crush and your heart and brain gang up against you and refuse to tell you what to do or say.  
><em>"Thank you for the nice evening.", I managed to get out.<em>  
><em>"No, thank YOU. I could consider myself beyond lucky to have spent an evening with a beautiful girl like you." He replied swarmingly. Next he had approached me dangerously close by and gave me a peck on my cheek.<em>  
><em>"Good night, Elena." <em>

_My mien had lit up and my eyes gleamed. "Good night, Damon."_  
><em>With a last bride smile on his face, he turned around and walked away.<em>

Did I say not noteworthy? For me, duh yes! But for apparently everyone else, not so much.  
>And after that night things did a 180. We nearly spent every day together, sat next each other on the bus ride, met in the school breaks. He told me everything and so did I with him. We just had something. An understanding. I thought so, at least till that one day..<p>

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><p><em><strong>31th October 2008, Birds of a feather flock together <strong>_

_"Hey, Prince Charming", I teased him._  
><em>He rose his eyebrows. "If anything then Prince Irresistable, but hey."<em>  
><em>As a matter of routine to those comments, I rolled my eyes.<em>  
><em>"I saw that. You'd better take care or one day they'll roll out."<em>  
><em>"It's all on you, Mr." I let out a hearty laugh. "Nevertheless, have you already heard about tonight's party at the Lockwoods?"<em>  
><em>"Who hasn't. Tyler literally blared it out." His voice took on an annoyed sound. "Why do you ask?"<em>  
><em>"Because I'd love to go there." I clarified cheerfully.<em>  
><em>"Well, I don't. Happy boozing, then." Damon maliciously smirked. "Oh and we both know that's quite your thing."<em>  
><em>My eyes tightened wrathfully and I pouted. "You're a dick."<em>  
><em>"And you still like me." He continued my remark without causing any reaction on my part.<em>  
><em>He shook his head. "Okay, how can I make it up to you?"<em>  
><em>"Go to the party with me." I grabbed his hands and looked at him eagerly. "Please Damon. For me?"<em>  
><em>He thoughtfully grimaced. "Only under one condition."<em>  
><em>"Which is?"<em>  
><em>"I will <strong>not <strong>dress up." He signalized._  
><em>I was all smile. "Agreed. Although that's pretty lame."<em>

Sounds good so far but the best part is till to come. Trust me.

**Later that night.**

_Damon, Ric, Matt, Caroline and me were sitting on a table in the corner. _

_Tyler and Katherine joined us. "Hey bores, what's up?"_  
><em>"Shut up, man." Matt laughed amused and did with Tyler their special fist-bump-greeting.<em>  
><em>"Mind if we join?" Katherine said and seductively bored her eyes into Damon's.<em>

I did not like this. In awhile it seemed like she had an eye on him.

_"We live in a free country with free will, so take a seat." Damon uttered regardlessly while Kat sat down right next to him. _

_I drove my elbow into his side but he only gave me a questioning look._

Katherine used to be one of my closest friends. The operative word is 'used to be'. Caroline had found out Kat's friendship with us was built on pure lies and that she only used us for her own advantages. She didn't care about anyone but herself. Sadly, she was still part of our group although we, the girls, mainly ignored her which was mutual. Kat didn't bother anymore to hide that she despised us. My entire life she has always been an attention whore but especially during the last few days when Damon was hanging around us, she more and more pushed herself to the fore.

**A couple rounds "truth or dare" later.**

_Everyone was fairly good involved. Matt constantly hit on me but I was used to that. It was no secret that he had a crush on me. But much to my regret, also Damon and Kat were having much fun. _

_How could he fall for that bitch? I mean, I was sitting right next to him and for the past two hours he had only eyes for her._

_It now was about 3am and the this year's long runner "Bleeding Love" was playing. Suddenly Damon bowed his head towards me._  
><em>"You cut me open and I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love." He whispered softly, matching to the lyrics, right into my ear. <em>

_I faced him with a puzzled look on my face. "You are fucking drunk."_  
><em>"Not at all. I still know everything that happened today and at this moment." He claimed, slightly babbling.<em>  
><em>One quick laughter flashed over my lips. "Well, then tell me what Mr Tanner told us about Civil War today?" <em>

_"Foul play. That's unsolvable." He said enraged with narrow eyes._  
><em>I pated his head. "Poor, poor guy."<em>  
><em>He plaid along. "I know." <em>

_"What shall we just do with you?" I shook my head jokingly._  
><em>"Dance."<em>  
><em>"Um, what?"<em>  
><em>"I said dance. I want to dance. With you." He explained. His blue eyes literally begging for my approval.<em>  
><em>"Take Katherine. She won't be loathed to do it." My attitude became more serious and I turned away in anger.<em>  
><em>"Too bad, I choose you." <em>

_Next, he got up and dragged me with him to the dance floor. He interwined his hands with mine and slowly, we twirled around._  
><em>Everyone was staring at us and I felt a bit like they tried to perforate me with their looks.<em>  
><em>"Damon.."<em>  
><em>"Hm?"<em>  
><em>I wasn't fond of getting so much attention. I didn't have ADD like Katherine. "Everyone's staring at us. They'll think that-" <em>

_"Who the fuck cares?" He paused our dancig and held my chin with his hand. Then he bored his blue eyes deep into mine. "They don't matter, Elena."_  
><em>"Damon?" A female voice interrupted. <em>

_"Katherine." __We broke apart. _

_"What do you want?" I asked in a livid tone._  
><em>"Get your hands off my man or I'll finish you." Her eyes darkened and toughened her evil-minded statement.<em>  
><em>"Wow, wow, wow ladys. Easy." Matt added our coming together and placed himself between us. "No cat fight."<em>  
><em>I drove my hand through my hair and tried to remain calm. "Don't worry, Matt. I know how to behave myelf."<em>

_ I glared arrogantly at Katherine one last time and set out for the snack bar. _

_That sneaky bitch! And he? He just stood there like a deaf-mute! Ugh! _

_I needed some chocolate as slow-down, urgently. _

_My eyes widened by surprise when I got there. T__he Lockwoods really deserved credit for it. Kudos. All kinds of nom noms were spread ahead me._

_I picked a delicious good-looking chocolate cupcake. _

_"Everything's okay with you?" A male voice asked concerned._

_Couldn't one just leave somebody alone for five minutes? _

_"Yeah, everything's great. Thanks Matt." I answered in a bugged voice._

_"Don't let Katherine ruin you your evening."_

_"I don't need her for that." _

_He put supportingly his arm on my shoulder. "She'll never be able to keep up with you." _

_Then he disappeared._

_I lowered my head and breathed out insecurely. "I'm not so sure about that.."_

_After my belly was lumbered with sweets, I went back towards our table. _

_"**What **are you doing?" It slipped out of my mouth in disgust._

_Katherine and Damon were sitting there all by theirselves. Making out with each other. _

_Shocked they parted. _

_Damon walked up to me. "Elena, w-"_

_"I told you about her! I warned you!" I scolded._

_"I know but-"_

_My breathing was uneven and rage floated through my body. "You know that she's a manipulative bitch and what she did! Still you kiss her? What the hell is wrong with you?" _

_His eyes filled with despair and helplessness. "Just let me explain. It's-"_

"_Don't waste your breath. I'm not interested!" I declared disparagingly. _

_"__Good night, Damon." My voice broke off._

_Near to tears, I made off on my way home. My heart ached like someone had ripped a piece out of it and only one question was on my mind: Why?_

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><p><strong>Please leave a review. Thanks in advance xoxo<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you all for your lovely words. This chapter will be a bit more serious then the previous ones. DE's relationship needed to get more intense and also because I needed to write some drama. I'm sorry but I need some drama, sorry *blushes* Nevertheless, I hope you'll enjoy it. Like always italics are flashbacks/memories and normal writing is either present or comments.

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**"You can't see me, no**

**like I see you.**

**I can't have you, no**

**like you have me."**

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><p>Hello guys,<br>I'm still in moving chaos, so this entry took me some time. Maybe also because old sores reopened and I needed time to stomach it again. You know it's kinda weird that thinking about that bygone evening aches but at the same time makes me beyond happy. Yeah, you might think I'm crazy and how such dilemma could possibly make one happy but it does. Because of many reasons. I often recall it and especially thinking of the way we danced and the way he touched me back then, makes me feel giddy. I've always been holding onto it. It was special for me and it still is, except for the bad part which I try to suppress.  
>To cut a long short, let's continue where we stopped..<p>

_Back home, I tumbled straight into my bed and started weeping bitterly in my pillow, the only thing giving me security at that moment. Why wasn't it me? Why didn't he kiss me? Was it something she had that I hadn't? Wasn't I good enough for him?_  
><em>My head started pounding as a sign that I had shed way too many tears. Well, I didn't care. Right now, I didn't care about anything. I just wanted to cry, scream or break something. As if anything would ease the pain. While my body was uncontrollably trembling under my sobbing the scene appeared on my mind time after time. Probably he was still busy shoving his tongue in her throat.<em>

_"I hate him!" My scream was muffled by tears and only a choking sound came out._

_A sharp pain shot through me and the uneven breathing brought me close to hyperventilating but eventually, a repeated shaking of my body, let my body completely limp and slump down. Too exhausted by the steady pain, my heart gave in and finally allowed me to fall asleep. The next day, I awoke with a weird feeling. Somehow similar like I had been on a bender, yet different. I felt lost. Alone. Numb. Every feeling strengthened through the heartache._

_My mobile started vibrating. Several messages and missed calls from Caroline and also from him showed up._  
><em>"What's up, Care?" I asked free of emotion.<em>  
><em>"How can you ask? I was worried about you! Last night you simply left all of a sudden! Without telling me! I had to hear it from Kat-"<em>  
><em>"I'm sorry Caroline that I was only trying to get away after I had to witness Damon making out with Katherine. So please have mercy with me."<em>  
><em>For one moment Caroline was completely flabbergasted and there was a dead silence.<em>  
><em>"I.. I didn't know, Elena. If I had-" She started out carefully.<em>

_"You wouldn't have been able to change it, Care and it's fine. What's past is past. We don't need to talk about it. I'm not in the mood for it anyway." I paused to inhale deeply. "And everything's just fine."_  
><em>"Elena." Caroline said, choosing her words with deliberation. "I'm your best friend and I know you. You can't lie to me, not about this and I can clearly tell you are anything else but fine."<em>  
><em>She knew that I was in love with Damon for a long time and even had been confident about us after the time we had spent together lately.<em>

_To be honest, she wasn't the only one thinking that we might have a chance._  
><em>I updated her about the last night and the unpleasing events.<em>  
><em>"I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing. I.. I can't go on any longer like this."<em>  
><em>"Fiddlesticks, Elena! We'll get through this, together. He's just a stupid guy. He knows as much about girls as the man in the moon. Want me to kick his ass? I gladly would."<em>  
><em>"No, Care. I'd better handle this my way."<em>  
><em>"Which is?"<em>  
><em>"Ignore him? Cancel him out of my life? I don't know yet."<em>  
><em>"And you think that'll work?" Caroline's voice sounded doubtful.<em>  
><em>"I have no idea. Do you have any better advice?"<em>  
><em>"Not yet, but I'll work on it. And till I come up with something clever you can stick with your ignoring thingy. Main point is that you take one step back from him. He's no good."<em>  
><em>"I know. You've already told me that the day-"<em>  
><em>"Just keep your head up, okay? We'll make it."<em>  
><em>I paused for a moment. "I try. Thanks Caroline."<em>  
><em>"Anytime, sweetie. Do you want me to come over? I'd keep you company." She suggested dearly.<em>  
><em>"Sorry hun but rather not. I need a time out from everything."<em>  
><em>"Sure. As you like, but I'm always there for you if you need me. Love you."<em>  
><em>"Love you too. Bye, Caroline."<em>  
><em>"Bye sweetie."<em>

**7th November 2008 "Someone like you"**

_Friday had come. It's been over a week since my emotional breakdown and Damon and I were officially no longer on speaking terms. He didn't make it easy for me, though. All week he had made persistend attempts to talk to me. Every day had almost the took the same course. On the beginning of the week it had begun. On the bus ride I tried to sit as far away of him as I could to be rid of him._

_"Hey, you-"_

_"Sorry, can't hear you. Music's too loud." I directly fobbed him off and put my headphones in._

_Just leave me alone! It screamed in my head._

_Thank god, he understood I didn't want to talk and left._

Fun is far from over.

_In the school breaks he waited for me at the place where our group always met._

_"Holy shit! He just can't stay away, can he?" Caroline cursed._

_"What are we gonna do? He doesn't seem like he's about disappear anytime soon."_

_"Well, then we'll find ourselves a new place." She snobbishly glared at him, linked our arms and turned us around._

_"Elena, wait! Elena!" His voice came nearer._

_Caroline twisted her head to face him. "Shut the fuck up and get lost, Damon, okay! No one needs you!"_

_"I don't give a fuck what you say. All I care about is Elen-"_

_"Well, she doesn't need you either! Don't you get it?"_

_"You say, huh? Then why doesn't she tell me this herself?" Damon snapped at her, then turned on me._

_"Please, Elena. Let's talk about this. At least give me 5 minutes to explain. I don't ask for more. Please." He begged. "I need you."_

_My heart and mind seemed to be at bitter struggle with each other. While in my head every logically thinking cell advised against giving in, my heart opposed and was proned to forget about everything and just give him a new chance._

_"Damon, it's-"_

_"We've run out of time. Good riddance, Damon." Caroline stepped in and drag me off with her._

_Luckily, Caroline kept me from doing something I would later possibly bitterly regret. But how long was I still going to be able to keep him at distance? To stay away from him? How long could my heart still survive without having him near me?_

_I desperately shook my head. "Caroline, I don't know for how long I can still keep this up."_

_"He's a tough nut, but still. Don't give in, try to stay brave. Otherwise it'll only make things worse."_

_"I can't imagine things getting any worse. We're not talking anymore and I miss him so much when he's not around."_

_"He'll only hurt you even more."_

_Then I have to live with that if that's the price to have him close by again, Caroline. I just miss him, okay? I miss him when he's not around. I think about him all the time and I imagine him being next to me when I'm alone. I just want him back." I complained heavy-hearted._

_Caroline's face saddened and sympathy showed in her eyes. "I understand, sweetie. I understand."_

_Then she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly._

_During class he sent lots of messages, for example this one:_

Hey there :)

Yeah, exactly you.

I like you.

xoxo, Damon

P.S. I miss you..

_My heart tightened in my chest._  
><em>What had I done wrong to deserve all this? Was he so bent on making my sorrow even worse?<em>

_After school I just wanted to go home as soon as possible. I had screwed up two of my exams and it simply wasn't my day._

_I swept from the room towards the way out._

_"Elena-", quite suddenly a strong hand grabbed my wrist. "-wait."_

_Sighing I turned around and stared awaiting at him. "What do you want, Damon?"_

_"How long will this run-away-game take? I'm getting tired of it."_

_"Then do yourself a favor and give up already."_

_He creased his face in disbelief. "No! How can you even say that? You're important to me. Very much, so."_  
><em>"If I were that important to you as you profess, you wouldn't have treated me like that, Damon."<em>  
><em>"Treat you how?"<em>  
><em>"Like I'm only your leverage to make Katherine jealous and now let go of me."<em>  
><em>I joggled my hand to slip through his grasp.<em>  
><em>"Damon, let go of me." I spoke in a firmly voice.<em>  
><em>"No. Not until we pronounced this distrinctly."<em>  
><em>Anger backed up inside me and wrathfully I broke away. Subsequently he pushed me with full commitment of his body against a wall nearby and his other hand blocked my way.<em>  
><em>His eyes searched for connection with my eyes and when they finally locked with each other, he whispered in a vulnerable sound. "I can't lose you."<em>

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><p>Please leave a review. Thanks in advance xoxo<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hey everyone who reads this, I'm really grateful that you're checking out my fanfic and I'd love you even more if you review it *winks*. A big thank you to everyone who already reviewed and left such nice comments, thank you! Special thank you goes to Sonia. She's always there if I need help, so thank you ever so much, Sonia! And now enjoy the new chapter :)

_Italics _= Flashbacks; Normal writing = comments/present

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><p>Hey there!<br>So finally my items are packed to move with me to NYC in three days. Damn, I'll miss Mystic Falls. So much history happened here.. Well, but before I get all melancholy here, I'd better go on with the story and this time I have much time to talk to you. Probably, you are anxious already after I broke off all at once. I'm sorry for that but Caroline "forced" me to go out with her to the movie night on the town square. They showed "The Notebook" and Caroline needed my support to handle with "Noah and Allie's epic love story" to quote her. It's her favorite movie, you have to know and she dreams of meeting a guy who's just like Noah one day. Who can blame her? Probably every girl would want a Noah if one hasn't met his personal one yet.. Change of subject.

So, after the awkward moment on the school floor, I finally gave in to let him explain himself. We sat on a bench near the parking lot and started talking. I was right to do it. Wasn't I? I mean, he had put his back into the whole matter which essentually meant that he did care about me and our friendship. My friends disagreed with me but I didn't let me put off. My conversation with Damon came out other than I had desired, though. But unfortunately, it all made sense somehow.

_"I'm sorry, Elena. I never meant to hurt you. I would never want that but everything is upside down at the moment. All because of that one person, you know. I remember like it's yesterday when she weaved a bit drunk over to me. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?" He had asked me mischievously. My heart was beating like a jungle drum and nearly jumped out of my chest._  
><em>"Her brown hair. Her doe eyes. Everything she does drives me nuts." He gushed and swallowed before continuing. "Elena, I am sorry but I didn't want to risk our friendship with this. That was my biggest concern and I tried so hard to keep it off. Even so, the feelings always fought their way back in." He said earnestly and deeply inhaled. <em>

_The butterlies in my belly started dancing like crazy._  
><em>"I fell in love."<em>  
><em>A bright smile appeared on my face and I literally grinned from ear to ear. <em>

_"With Katherine. __I know it's a shock but luckily she feels the same way about me." He smiled. "We met a few times when I wasn't with you and on Tyler's Halloween Party we ultimately got together. I know I should have told you earlier."_  
><em> My heart had just broken to pieces. I wondered why it wasn't audible for him. My body felt paralyzed by the sudden news. I wasn't able to move only just managed to breathe as calmly as possible.I shouldn't have forced him to go to the party.<em>

_"Hey, can you maybe comment once in a while?" He wondered at my complete silence._  
><em>"I.. I.." <em>

_What was I supposed to say? That I was lucky for him? Conceal the fact that every piece of me was either hurting or lying shattered in front of him? That my world had fallen apart right now or at the end tell him the truth? About her being the wrong choice? About my feelings for him? To choose me instead of her?_  
><em>"You?" He requested immpatently, interrupting my thoughts.<em>  
><em>I promptly got up. "I gotta go."<em>  
><em>"Wait, what? No, you can't." His voice flipped over in disapprove. "I just told you that I'm in love and that's all you've got to say?"<em>  
><em>"Jenna's waiting. I'll get in touch." I said quickly, struggling to retain my composure.<em>  
><em>"You really baffle me." Damon pandered and kissed my cheek. "See you soon, honey."<em>  
><em>"Bye." I pressed out before rushing towards the parking lot. <em>

_Way too much was racing through my head._  
><em>"We're good again?" He suspicously warbled after.<em>  
><em>"Mhm" I mumbled back so he was put to rest. Tears trickeled down my cheeks. I was tired of playing the broken-hearted girl and afraid of how many times I still had to bear it. The influence he had on me was way too unhealthy. It felt like he had just taken away the air I needed to breathe. How was I supposed to go on breathing with no air? <em>

_I wiped away the last tears and calmed down, Jenna couldn't see me like this._

_When I got in the car, she casually asked about my day. _

_"Can we just go home, please?" I begged her gloomy._  
><em>My body was still transfixed with pain and on our way home, I didn't make a sound. Emotionless my eyes stared outside the window. This time somehow felt different. Numbness had taken over me. Technically I had lost him a moment ago. To Katherine, why her of all people?<em>

Oh believe me guys, I'd love to rant about her at this point but she's not worth it. Also, I accepted the terms of use to keep my blog a peaceful place as is right and proper. Sadly.

_"Meal is already prepared." Jenna proclaimed loudly, walking inside our house._

_"Not hungry." I stamped upstairs in my room._

_"But you need to eat something, honey."_  
><em>"Don't call me honey!" I screamed churned up. <em>

_Only he gets to call me like this. _

_"And like I said, I'm not hungry."_

_My door slammed shut behind me. Gazing in abstarction I lay in bed. Everything felt minor, somehow cold. Maybe it was nothing serious between them? Just a brief flirtation. I couldn't imagine Damon to be in a serious and long-lasting relationship anway. He still enjoyed flirting with girls way too much to settle down with only one girl. _

_Tired of everything I fell asleep but awoke by my fitful sleep in the middle of the night. I grabbed my mobile to check what time it was. _

_It showed 2.30am and 3 messages of Damon._

_Exhausted, I dropped back in bed. Some people write the names of the ones they love on their skin. Well, I didn't need to do that, not with him, because I had his heart written all over my heart. I'd always carry him with me but I was fed up of playing the broken-hearted girl. I couldn't lose him, though. Hence, I had to try to push my feelings away and lock them away._

_Between Damon and me everything somewhat sorted out again as much as circumstances allowed. Although Kat and Damon didn't make it easy for me with holding hands 24/7 and bill and coo in front of me._

**6 months later**

_"I'm bored." _

_"Oh what news, Care. When are you ever not bored?" I laughed._  
><em>"Tzzz. Well, if we would do something instead of just sitting here like couch potatoes, then you wouldn't have to listen to my whining." Caroline got cheeky.<em>

_"What about a night walk?" Bonnie suggested._  
><em>Caroline's mood skyrocketed. "Yeah, why not." <em>

_"Um-"_  
><em>"Nothing um. We're going on a night walk. Period."<em>  
><em>I rolled my eyes. "And where to?"<em>  
><em>"We'll decide spontaneously."<em>

_Enthusiastically Bonnie and Caroline jumped off the sofa and slipped in their jackets. I dawdled over it to delay. _

_"Don't fall asleep in there." Caroline mocked._

_"Not gonna happen." I went outside an__d the tour started. _

_We ran criss-cross through Mystic Falls without course and after all fetched up somewhere that looked quite like Damon's house._

_"See, there's light! So he's home."_  
><em>"Probably the slut is also there." Caroline spat out bitterly.<em>  
><em>"Nah, I don't think so. It's not going well between them lately." I uttered mildly.<em>

_"Was about damn time. We had to endure the spectacle for half a year already. What does he see in her? She's just toying with him."_

_The music from his room blasted out loudly. I could only too well imagine what he was doing in there. Most likely, lying in bed, gazing into space and mulling over his situation. Kat and him were heading towards a crisis for quite some time which was recognizable in his mood. Permanently he was moody and had nothing to desire. He claimed that everything was fine with him but I knew better. "She is replaceable. She has nothing others have not." He had said yesterday. The entire time he had pushed it to the back of his mind but inside him it looked completely different. He felt broken and hurt, one could see it in his eyes. They usually gleamed like the blue ocean, downright beamed with joy of living, recently however they seemed rather dull and cold. Thinking of his pain hurt me, too. It wasn't only his pain, it had also become mine. _  
><em>"Come on, girls. Let's bring him out of his shell." sing-sang Caroline, picked up a small stone from the ground and threw it against his window.<em>

_"What the hell are you doing?" I asked upset._  
><em>"I make him aware of us. What are you thinking?" Caroline replied like it's the most logic thing and threw another stone.<em>

_"Stop it!" I grabbed her arm and drew her off. "We've seen enough. I want home."_

_"No, we won't leave now. We haven't come here for nothing."_  
><em>I arched my eyebrows. "You planned all this?"<em>  
><em>Both acted innocent and <em>_shyly replied. "Um.. no?"_  
><em>Angrily I stamped my foot. "You're impossible!"<em>

_"Oh come on, Elena. We're sorry, okay? But don't pretend like you didn't want to come here." They explained themselves, pouting, each grabbing one of my hands._

_With judgy eyes I glared at them. _

_They grimaced and stared at me with puppy eyes. The corners of my mouth went up and heartily I hugged them both._  
><em>"Now it's my turn." I chuckled.<em>  
><em>After a while and millions of thrown stones, we gave up. <em>

_"His music is simply too loud."_  
><em>"Dumbass."<em>  
><em>"Never mind, his loss not ours."<em>  
><em>Hooking arms we marched thereof.<em>

_"Yes! She's a scheming bitch."_  
><em>"Don't talk so bad about her. At least not behind her back, you don't want to sink on her level and why do we have to talk about her at all?" I declared annoyed.<em>  
><em>"Because she's always with us, trying to ruin our lives. Also, why are you protecting her, Elena? She's a high class bitch towards you and clearly didn't care about your feelings while getting together with Damon."<em>  
><em>"I know , Caroline! You don't have to remind me of it!" It escaped me loaded with anger. I paused to calm myself down again. "I'm sorry, Care. My emotions got the better of me." <em>

_This happened always when it was about Kat. _

_"She might be a bitch but she's what Damon wants, what makes him happy. So I'm accepting it." I continued more calmly now._  
><em>Bonnie and Caroline shook their heads. "You can't put his happiness before yours. You have to live your own life."<em>  
><em>"I know you think I'm pathetic."<em>  
><em>Bonnie gave me a compassionate glance. "We don't think that, Elena. But perhaps it's just time to let go?"<em>  
><em>I felt the tears well up in my eyes. "I want to! Believe me, I want to but I just can't." <em>

_My heart won't let me. _

_Caroline's mom was already impatiently waiting in her car before our house to take the girls home. _

_"Bye, sweeties. Thanks for the lovely evening. It was fun, though." I thanked them with a genuine smile._  
><em>We all hugged and as they drove off, I waved them goodbye. <em>

_"Phew, what a night." I whispered, leaning on the closed front door. _

_Suddenly the door bell rang. _

_"Have you forgotten someth-"_  
><em>"Matter of opinion." Damon muttered as he barged in.<em>  
><em>"What's up? Have you once looked at the clock?" I asked troubled.<em>

_"You weren't at my house tonight, were you?"_

_"Um, no. I've spent the evening with Caroline and Bonnie at home." I made excuses in an unconfident voice._

_"Maybe I've gone crazy after all." He replied thoughtful._

_"No, you have not." I said reassuring. "I think you're just overtired and need some sleep."_

_"Alright." He nodded and walked up the stairs, aiming at my room._

_"Damon! Whatcha doing?" I confused cat-called at him. _

_"Get some sleep. Like you said." His voice echoed from upstairs._  
><em>Sighing, I followed him upstairs and found him lying across my bed.<em>  
><em>"You didn't give me instructions where to sleep." He smirked.<em>  
><em>"You know, maybe I was wrong and you are crazy."<em>  
><em>"Still you let me inside your house." <em>

_His hands grabbed my Teddy which was unfortunately sitting on my bed and fooled around with it._

_Slightly edgy I wrenched it from him. "You aren't expecting to get my permission to sleep in my bed, are you?"_  
><em>"No, actually I allow <strong>you<strong> to sleep next to **me** in this comfortable bed. That's a privilege. All your girlfriends will envy you." He said in a cocky voice._  
><em>"You're an idiot. Now get out." <em>

_I pulled on the blanket he was lying on. _

_"Ok, I get it but if you don't get out, at least move a bit." I grumbled._  
><em>He shoved himself aside and splashed with his hand on the empty place beside him. <em>

_"Come here."_  
><em>Slowly I slipped into bed, right next to him and immediately after I had turned off the light, he snuggled up to me and we were lying close to each other.<em>

_"You smell good." He whispered in my ear, wrapping strands of my hair and smelling on it._

_"Cannot say that about you." I teased him, grinning broadly._

_"Watch out, little girl." _

_I giggled. "W__hat are you thinking right now?" _

_"That you need to sleep." Damon answered in a low voice, stroking my hair._

_"The truth, Damon."_

_He sighed heavy-hearted and rolled on his back. "That I'm a lost cause who is forcing himself on his best friend." _

_Perplexed, I sat up. "You're not. Why would you think such thing?"_

_"Katherine might have mentioned something."_

_"Oh.."_

_"We broke up today."_

_I gently cupped his face in my hand. "Listen, Damon. You're so much more than Katherine has ever seen in you. She doesn't deserve you. You're no lost cause."_

_With both of his hands he carefully pulled me on his chest and held me tight. "You're too good to me."_

_A good while we just lay there, not saying a word._

_Attentively I listened to his heart beat and breathing with closed eyes. This way it could have remained forever. _

_"I don't deserve you." He started._

_"Right, you don't." _

_I felt his chest rise because of a slight laughter._

_"By the way, I was lying earlier." _

_"About what? Hopefully not about me being crazy or a lost cause. I wouldn't survive it." _

_"Haha no, it was about tonight." I painted pattern with my forefinger on his arm. "Actually, I were at your place." I confessed sincerely._

_"You just can't stay away from me." _

_"You're so conceited." Playfully, I hit him._

_"Ouch." _

_"Sorry, but you needed it."_

_"Well, you should tell me more often what I need and what not. Keeps me from being in mischief." He appreciated._

_"We're a good match." _

_"Yes, we are." He yawned. "You're a really good friend." He mumbled before falling asleep._

_"You, too." I replied smitten, one tear rolling down my cheek._

**The next morning**

_The warm rays of sunshine tingled my face and awoke me. I still felt his strong arms wrapped around me, so I turned around and minced my eyes all over him till my hands reached out for his face to touch it. _

_"You're still here. It wasn't just a dream." I said amazed._

_My thumb carressed his face and made it's way to his lips and brushed over them. He looked so tempting and unaware of anything. _

_One thought crossed my mind and rankled me. Would he be asleep enough to not notice if I kissed him?_

_Things can only get better, I persuaded myself._

_I rode up, so that my face was on the same level with his. Carefully, anxious not to wake him, I lightly placed my lips on his cheek. _

_"Damon?" I whispered softly, curiously awating his reaction but nothing happened. _

_I approached his mouth with my lips. Inches before it, I paused for a moment to let my eyes linger all over his face for one last time. Then I pressed my lips on his, sensing their tenderness, completely drowning in the moment. For how long I had wished for this moment to come true, to be able to kiss him, to touch him this way. _

_Suddenly he started moving. _

_Scared and feeling insecure about what to do, I whiped away from him._

_"Katherine?" Damon buzzed half asleep. _

_"Oh, hey Elena." He said slowly after opening his eyes._

_"Morning." I answered, having my face turned away to hide it from him. I couldn't let him see see how pain-filled it was right now by the words he had just said._

_"What are we gonna do today?" His voice rejoiced._

_"Don't know. Jenna needs me." I mumbled, getting out of bed and walking into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. _

_So it seemed like he didn't know that I had kissed him. Well, that was actually a good thing but something he must have felt. He had reacted to it, just not the way I had hoped but it was all my fault. It was my idea to kiss him and now I got the consequence. He was still too caught up on Katherine._

_"Hm. Can't you place that on hold? We could hang out like in the good old times. Especially now that Kat.. Well, what do you say?"_

_I curled up on the floor, leaning against the wall. _

_"I don't think that's possible." I said choked, wiping away the single tears that streamed down my face._

_"Oh, too bad." Disappointment sounded in his voice. "Well, maybe I can ask her if she gives you a day off. She won't be able to say no to me." He suggested._

_Fast I unlocked the door and sniffling came out. "No, no. It's fine."_

_He stood right in front of me and questioningly glanced at me. __"Elena, what's wrong?"_

_"Nothing."_

_"Doesn't look like nothing?"_

_"It's just my allergy. Yeah, my allergy. I.. it makes my eyes water and a runny nose. That's all."_

_ I prayed that it was till too early for his brain to work porperly or that he somehow believed in my lie. _

_Skeptical and researching, his sight was directed at me. "Since when do you have this mysterious allergy?" _

_"Only since last week. We've accidentally come across it." It escaped my mouth like a shot._

_"And against what are you allergic to?" _

This was rock-bottom.

_Okay, Elena. Think about it. It has to be something reliable._

_"Against.. against.. house dust mites." I stammered._

_He started pating my head. "She passed away far too soon."_

_"Shut up! I won't die because of this." I pushed his hand off me. "You know, you could make yourself useful as well instead of talking big."_

_We striked off downstairs. _

_"I'll make breakfast, Jenna." _

_"Much appreciated." She answered, sneaking out of her bedroom. _

_"Oh and what have we got here? Boy visit at the crack of dawn?" _

_"Good morning, Mrs Sommers. I swear I behaved myself." Damon smirked at her._

_I dag in his side._

_"Good morning, Damon. Yeah, I advise you that." She clearly was amused about all this. "You can have breakfast with us if you want to." Jenna offered pleased about his presence._

_"Thank you so much but I think I've already asked enough of Elena. I'll help her preparing it but that's all." With a handkiss he said goodbye to Jenna who afterwards disappeared into the bathroom._

_After arriving in the kitchen, he continued our already commenced conversation. "I know you've been lying."_

_"Excuse me?" _

_"I don't buy the allergy thingy. You cried, didn't you?" He obstinately rebored._

_"Why should I?" I asked, facing him my back. _

_"You tell me." His voice came nearer with him standing now exact behind me._

_The tension increased because I realized he was only inches away. _

_I turned around to look him in the face and found it hard to pull myself together. _

_"Damon, I have so many things to do. Please just go home, will you?"_

_He lowered his head and his blue eyes pierced into mine. He stroked my face. "Fine, if that's what you want. Have a nice day, honey. I'm always there for you." _

_Then he vanished outside our door._

I'm so sorry guys, but I have to cut you off here, I'd want to tell you more but something weird is happening here in my place and I have to go into the matter. I'll try to continue as soon as possible by no later than sometime next week. I promise. Take care everyone and have a nice week. Love, Elena.

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><p>"What the heck?" Elena cursed. Confused she looked around to find the source of the knocking she had heard. She walked over to her window where it apparently came from and squinted outside.<p>

"Damon?" She quickly opened it. "Damon? What are you doing here? It's pouring with rain."

"I don't care."

Compassion emerged inside her and reflected on her face. "What do you want?"

The last month had been a bloody hell. Actually since she knew him she had been torturing herself because of him. Of course, it wasn't directly his fault but it was senseless. She couldn't waste more time on him, she had tried, fought and gave her all already. Elena couldn't carrry on much longer like this. Clean and final cut was needed.

"Bringing back old memories and appeal to your better nature."

I looked askant at him.

"I still remember that night you were throwing stones on my window. This time it's the other way around. Ironic, isn't it?"

"It's not ironic, Damon. It's rather foolish."

"No, it's not. I'm dead serious here." He insisted energetic.

After everything between them, he couldn't lose her. Just the thought of it was unbearable. She was the only constant thing in his life that secured him.

"Stay with me, please." He pleaded, the rain drumming down on him.

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><p><strong>Please leave a review. Thanks in advance. <strong>

Btw, I haven't forgotten that it's supposed to be funny like I stated in the description but I needed to add some drama.

Next chappie will be funnier, I think and *little spoiler* we'll finally meet Stefan.. Stick around ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **I'm so so sorry this chapter took me so long but life kept me busy and also I had some problems with how to connect the present with the past in this chapter but somehow I still managed it, hopefully in a good way. And I wanted to let you know that I'm writing this fanfiction because of two reasons. Reason tone are you, the readers. I'm thankful for each one of you who reads my fanfiction, really. And reason two is myself, DE give me so many feelings and thoughts that writing is a kind of way to let it all out for. Especially after the current events in Season 3, duh DE is _so_ on. Season 3 will be an amazing one for DE. Once again, I'm so sorry but I hope the chapter will make up for the long hiatus.

**Info/Spoiler:** In this chapter there'll be no blog entry but don't worry, there'll still be flashbacks. Different than you're used to though, also we'll get to see some Elena/Caroline friendship interaction and Stefan will make his entry *dun dun dun* Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**If you don't love me so **

**Why won't you let me go **

**I'm running out of time **

**Forever will I cry **

**If you don't want me near **

**Why won't you disappear **

**I'm hanging on to life**

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><p>"Damon... Please don't make this so hard for me. I'll leave and nothing will stop me. I've had enough of being the rebound girl for you. Me leaving is the best for both of us." She explained, the pain his words caused clearly showing in her voice.<br>"You are wrong." He replied bitterly. "You won't get away with this so easily, Elena Gilbert because I know what I want." His voice broke off. "It's you." The anger, sorrow and all the other feelings that had built up the last time she had seen him when he had hurt her the last time, boiled up in her.  
>"How come? Give me one good reason to stay."<br>He threw his hands up in despair. "Because I've been an idiot. A late bloomer."  
>Elena shook her head, trying to scarf the tears down. "Not good enough."<br>"Because I need you and you need me."  
>Elena lowered her head, thinking about his words and she had to admit that he was right. Whenever she needed him, he was there for her, giving her security and always was honest with her, no matter what. Of course, it didn't feel good to hear it but she needed it. She didn't need someone who sugercoated her actions. It had made her realize where her strenghts and weaknesses resided in her. He had made her stronger. He used to be her rock to hold onto in hard times and she used to be his. Still, he had broke her heart too many times. Used her, although he had assured her that he never had bad intentions or had done anything deliberately which she believed him but enough was enough. Her heart screamed "screw it" and she felt the urge to listen to that feeling that was about to take over her again but this time she wouldn't let it. This time she'd be a smart girl and listen to her head instead.<p>

"Not good enough, Damon. That's not good enough!" She yelled, loaded for bear.  
>"Then tell me what you want to hear? What can I do?" He asked more determining, emphasizing every word. "What do you want?"<br>His eyes were darkened as if his grief and longing covered the piercing blue in dense fog and kept them from shining like they used to. "Do you want me to disappear, to disappear out of your entire life? To give you up?"

He shook his head in disbelief.  
>Her eyes were watery, staring at him. Her lips trembled, trying to find the right words.<br>"To give me up you would have to had me first of all."

The words cut deeper than expected, not only in him but also in her because she knew she was lieing, her heart knew it. "And now leave, Damon. Please. I don't want to see you anymore." I can't expect my heart to put up with even more, she thought to herself. "Besides you'll get yourself sick out there."  
>For seconds he stood there, completely paralysed and gazing into space.<br>"You know.. I don't care. That feeling will vanish but not the feeling your departure will cause." He lifted his head to look her directly in the eyes. Regret, fear and ache reflected in them and made her heart squeeze in her chest.  
>"Damon..."<br>"Oh I know. Believe me, I get it." He swallowed. "Good night, Elena."  
>Another tear trickled down her face.<br>"Good night, Damon."  
>He gave her a last glumly smirk and walked off with a lowered head.<br>A little bit she stayed by her window, considering the falling rain before it completely infiltrated into her and threw her off track.  
>With her arms clutched around her torso she sat down on her bad, uncontrollable waves of sobbing hitting her body. What the hell had just happened? Had he really, after all this time, said those things he had never said out loud. That he wanted and needed her. She couldn't believe it as much as she tried, it felt so surreal but the shaking of her body told her this was reality. Not knowing how to help herself otherwise, she dialed her best friend's number. Caroline had told me that she'd go to see Tyler because they kind of had a thing for each other. Loud music and a lot of laughter sounded on the other phone. Obviously the happy couple had made a slight detour to the Grill.<p>

"Hey ho, who goes there?" Caroline mocked in a tipsy voice.

"Care.." Elena started but got interrupted by a sob she couldn't suppress.  
>She felt Caroline tense up as her voice immediately became more serious and worried. "Elena? Hey. What's wrong?"<br>"Uh, um.. nothing. I.. I just-"  
>"Want me to come over or shall I pick you up?"<br>"Coming over would be nice." Elena stammered.  
>"Alright. Hold on, sweetie. I'll be right there."<br>Caroline hung up and Elena let her torso drop into bed. Boundless questions buzzed through her head. Why had she allowed him to speak or allowed herself to even listen to one word coming out of his mouth? Heck, why had she even opened the window? What was he trying to achieve? But the question that most gnawed on her was,_ why_ on earth now? All these years she'd been right in front of him and obviously showing her affection towards him but that didn't make him see anything more in her than just a friend. His best friend. She had known exactly what she wanted to do before he had showed up. Her plan was to leave all the bad memories that Mystic Falls contained behind her. To start a new life and her career as a journalist like she always had wanted. She had seen it right before her very eyes but now everything looked blurred. She was supposed to be fully happy again, not hurting every day because of the thought of not being with him still living in the same place and crossing his path. God, damn you Damon Salvatore! She drove her hands through her hair. The hurt, anger and desperation inside of her seemed to merge into one and to come back to surface. The words he had said still buzzed in her head and haunted her. He had said he was a bloomer. Well, what if it was true. Put the case that he had said nothing but the truth and that his feelings had changed towards me. What if- Her thoughts got interrupted as suddenly the door of their house swung open and heels tinkled.

"Elena? Sweetie? Are you upstairs?" Caroline screamed urgently.  
>Elena wiped over her eyes in a feelbe attempt to make her look less of a bawling wreck, not even knowing why she bothered because Caroline would clearly see she'd been crying.<br>"I'm in my room, Care. I'm here."_ I wish I weren't though_.  
>With fast steps upstairs Caroline nearly stormed in Elena's room but abruptly stopped at the painful sight of her best friend. Elena sat up to look at her friend with ashamed yet watery eyes and puckering one corner of her mouth as if she wanted to apologize for the state she came upon.<p>

"I swear, who do I have to kill?" Caroline said, her voice in pain and rage at the same time and rushed over to Elena to take her tightly in her arms.  
>As she felt the warmth and support Caroline gave her, the dams broke open again.<br>"I'm so sorry for ruining your evening."  
>"Oh hun, don't worry." She said reassuringly and stroked over Elena's back, trying to soothe her. "Believe me, you're much more important."<br>Elena clung her arms more tightly around Caroline and sobbed.

"Wanna tell me what happened?"  
>"What happened? <em>He<em> showed up and screwed up everything! _Everything_!" Elena's breathing was pretty shaky and Caroline felt scared her friend might carry it too far.

"Okay sweetie, calm down first. _Please_, you have to calm down."  
>But Elena didn't listen, instead she continued blubbering out and was close to hyperventilating. "I hate him! His everything! Why does he even exist?"<br>Caroline loosened of Elena's embrace and grasped her by her shoulders.

"Elena. Hey, look at me. Elena! You have to calm down, do you understand?" Caroline said softly, emphasizing every word.  
>Grudgingly Elena faced Caroline's glance and nodded. Elena closed her eyes and deeply inhaled a few times. Her breathing and heart beat went back to normal and as she felt physically fine again, she told Caroline about her stirring meeting to the smallest detail.<br>"I hope for his own sake that he's already dug his own grave."  
>Elena gave her a significant glance.<br>"What? I'm serious. I won't let him make you go to rack and ruin." Caroline said pretty pissed off. That was her natural reaction to whatever concerning Damon. She used to get along with him just fine. Here and there some misunderstandings happened between them but nothing huge, till the day things between him and Elena had become rocky. Although it had never been his intention and he had reaffirmed it many times, Caroline just couldn't get over the fact of him hurting Elena. And so she chose a side. Elena's side.  
>"I'm not that in need of him."<br>"Oh no?" She questioned in an undertone of a fit of pique.  
>"Whoa, wait." Elena used her arms to express her bewilderment. "What is that supposed to mean now?"<br>"Nothing. It just slipped out." Caroline bit her bottom lip, shocked about her own cheekiness.

"Caroline. I'm waiting."  
>Caroline threw her arms up. "For what? You know what I think about him, so you probably already know what I was going to say."<br>"That I know, but I didn't know you think I'm like dependent on him or something." Sight disappointment and hurt sounded in Elena's voice.  
>"I didn't say that."<br>"Well, indirectly you did."  
>"Okay." Caroline sighed in surrender and darted an excusing glance at her friend. "That might have possibly crossed my mind. Sometime. In the past."<br>"You mean sometime in the past as in about a minute ago?"

"Oh come on, Elena. You know me, right? You know I always talk before thinking and that I talk _a lot_ which doesn't mean that I know what I'm talking about and can't we just forget about it, please?"  
>"No, we can't Caroline. You started and now you're gonna finish." Elena wasn't in the mood to back down, another time she might have ignored it to avoid a fight but she felt still too upset.<br>"Well, I was just thinking you spent so much time on him. Wasted time. He made you go through so much pain and heartache, still you always let him back in your life and-"  
>"I <em>let<em> him in? Are you trying to say I wanted it this way?" Elena threw angrily in. Caroline couldn't be serious about this.  
>"You didn't let me finish, Elena. I'd never say you wanted it this way. I'd rather say you were too afraid to let go of him. Because somehow you prefered to feel happy just for a moment, well aware that pain will most likely follow afterwards over not having him in your life and in some twisted way he did make you happier than anyone else ever could. Even if just temporarily."<br>Elena was left flabbergasted and puzzled. She let Caroline's word sink in and thought about it. The gears in her mind started to rattle like crazy now, trying to find out whether there was some truth about Caroline's statement. To be honest, she had never considered it from this side. But who would want that? Had she really been that blind let alone naive? She shook her head, not believing she could have been so stupid.

"But what would this say about me? That I'm a masochist?"  
>"No, no, no sweetie." Caroline grabbed hold of Elena's hands. "It wouldnt't. It says your human. And head over heels in love."<br>Elena lowered her head and whispered faintly. "_Was_. I _was_, not anymore."

"Sure. Keep trying to tell yourself that." Caroline mumbled more to herself. "But there are more important problems to solve at the moment, so let's change this." Her voice warbled with renewed enthusiasm.  
>Elena raised her eyebrow in confusion. "For example?"<br>"How to save your day."  
>Elena shook her head. How could she think that was still possible.<br>"Care, that ship has sailed long time ago."

"Come on, rise and shine! You won't let him ruin your last days in Mystic Falls, will you? Well, I won't let him, so your argument is invalid anyway." She said cheerfully and jumped off the bed and encouraged Elena to do the same.  
>"No." She refused. "At least not before you tell me what you're up to."<br>"Having fun."  
>"Ah ah ah. What's the catch?" Elena backpedaled.<br>"Elena, friends of Caroline Forbes sometimes do have to live a little and enjoy life and that's exactly what we're gonna do. Pull yourself up, put on something fancy and have a good time with me."  
>Elena began to object but Caroline simply cut her off. "We're low in time before your departure either way and I don't allow him to corrupt the left time. Therefore I won't accept a no. Screw your doubts and even more importantly screw <em>him<em>. If not for youself, then do it for me."  
>Caroline put on her best puppy eyes look and hoped her bill would work.<br>Elena sighed deeply. "Fine."

She had nothing left to lose anyway.  
>As keen as mustard Caroline clapped her hands. "That's the spirit."<br>_

**At the grill**

Hey, babe." Tyler sing-sang and plant a kiss on Caroline's lips as we sat down next to him at the bar counter.  
>"Hey, adonis." She said, all smiling as they parted.<br>Immediately Elena ordered a liquor shot for herself. _Oh gosh, had I really agreed to this? I must have had a devil in me_. _Watching them flirt with each other while I was stuck in an emotional chaos. Well, cheers to that_, she thought and downed her drink with one gulp and ordered the next one right away. Tyler surveyed her with a skeptical look but didn't ask any questions after Caroline had punched him in his side.  
>Another few drinks later Elena found herself at the table where Matt and his friends sat, where she eventually got up to nonsense with them.<br>"You're such pussies, I swear. I can drink you _all_ under the table." Elena blared out, the alcohol already working his magic on her.  
>"Don't talk too big, Gilbert" One of the boys mocked her.<br>"You bet!" She retortet encouraged.  
>"Elena? I think it's time to go. Come on. Tyler's already waiting outside." Caroline asked her exhaustedly.<br>"Nah, don't play fun police, Care. It's only just begun."  
>"You had enough fun in my opinion. Now, will you please come home with me?"<br>"Thanks but no, Caroline. Me and my boys are having way too much fun." With that said Elena and they all raised their glasses and gulped it down.  
>"I'll take care of her. I promise."<br>"What do you say, and why would I trust you of all people?" She answered snappishly.  
>"I wouldn't let anything happen to her, you know that."<br>"If you only had observed once before."  
>"Caroline.."<br>"Ugh, you know what? Fine. Whatever. I mean, she's won't listen to me now anyway and although you're a giant ass who still have to kill like at least once." She pointed her finger on his chest. "I trust you with her. Do not make me regret it."  
>"I won't."<p>

**One hour later**

"Guuuuys? Why y'all leavin? Don't." Elena whined.  
>"You need to sleep, Elena." Matt's voice sounded in welfare.<br>"I'm fu-fully fit." She objected and jumped up to prove her conviction but fluctuated pretty much till one firm arm gave her support and guided her out of the Grill.  
>"Maaaatt! Lemme go. I wanna- I'm not- not a wee- tir-tr-tired.."<p>

"Let's get you out of here, boozehound. Apparently, some things never change."

She mumbled something barely audible before everything went black and she drifted into dreamland.  
>_<p>

_"Good morning class."_  
><em>"Good morning, Mr Tanner."<em>  
><em>"I am very pleased to announce to you that we have a new student to welcome in our class. He's new in town, so I expect all of you to be extra nice and obliging. Like you usually behave either way." Mr Tanner let the class know and waved as a sign to enter towards the door frame where obviously someone was standing.<em>  
><em>A whispering went trough the class, full of curiosity about the newbie as a brown-haired boy, wearing sunglasses and with his hands buried in his trouser pockets walked in.<em>  
><em>"This is Stefan Salvatore."<em>  
><em>The pupils nodded and continued whispering.<em>  
><em>Caroline leaned over to me. "Damn. He's hot."<em>  
><em>I shook my head. Of course, that's the first thing Caroline could think of when seeing a boy.<em>  
><em>"By the way, why is his name Salvatore as in Damon's last name? Are they related or something?"<em>  
><em>"Not that I know of." Although I'd like to know that myself.<em>  
><em>"Is there a free seat anywhere? Ah there, right next to-"<em>  
><em>"He can sit here! Right next to me, Mr Tanner." Caroline shouted cheerfully and pointed to her left.<em>  
><em>"But that's m-m-my seat?" Dana complained.<em>  
><em>Caroline faced her with a cocky glance. "Well, now it's Stefan's or do you have a problem with it? I mean, you heard that we shall be nice and obliging, didn't you? So you surely don't mind making room for him, do you?"<em>  
><em>"Care, don't play mean girl." Elena reminded her.<em>  
><em>"I'm just trying to be cooperative that's all." She justified herself.<em>  
><em>Snorting Dana grabbed her utensils and moved to the free seat two rows forward.<em>  
><em>Mr Tanner only rolled his eyes and turned back to Stefan. "Please take a seat, Stefan."<em>  
><em>Nodding, he walked towards the free seat next to Caroline and sat down. Almost swooning she sat there, attentively considering him.<em>  
><em>Nearly exactly like that the whole day went by. Caroline swooning over Stefan and dreaming about his oh-so-perfect everything. After the school bell had rung, she linked arms with me.<em>  
><em>"He's marvellous. His face. His eyes."<em>  
><em>"Caroline, he wore glasses. You couldn't even see his eyes."<em>  
><em>"Whatever, I'm qute sure he has beautiful eyes and the glasses were great, too."<em>  
><em>"Lord have mercy on me." I whispered and earned a hit for it from her.<em>  
><em>We approached the parking lot where nearby Damon leaned on a tree. <em>

_"Hey." I greeted him._  
><em>"Hey, there."<em>  
><em>"What's up?"<em>  
><em>"Not much and with you?" He returned, seeming vacantly.<em>  
><em>"You don't accidentally have a lost brother?" It bubbbled out of Caroline's mouth.<em>  
><em>"Um, no? Why do you ask, Barbie? Want a piece of me?" He asked mischievously.<em>  
><em>"Sorry to disappoint you but no. I was just wondering because another Salvatore is now walking around these school halls. Hopefully one who's not so full of himself." She muttered annoyed.<em>  
><em>"Damn, I thought it was only a bad joke." He cursed. "I can't stand that kid."<em>  
><em>"So you know him?" Caroline and me questioned at one go.<em>  
><em>"I'm afraid so.. he's my cousin." He dropped the bombshell.<em>  
><em>"Oh."<em>  
><em>I didn't quite know how to respond. Stefan seemed to be a nice guy and his good looks didn't hurt either. Everyone in that family seemed to be a handsomeness.<em>  
><em>"So one for me and one for you, huh?" Caroline said teasingly and blinked at me.<em>  
><em>I'd loved to slap her face but instead hinted with my head at Damon and narrowed my eyes to glare at her in horror. He's standing right next to us!, I tried to tell her telepathically.<em>  
><em>"Why can't you stand him?" I rebored, mainly to quickly divert and also because I knew Damon wasn't always one easy to endure but family was important to him.<em>  
><em>"He's just spoiled and know-all. Also he's always been the goodie two shoes. The pride of the family. Unlike me, the black sheep." He laughed dryly.<em>  
><em>Caroline twisted her face in disbelief. "He didn't seem like that. Like at all."<em>  
><em>"For how long do you know him, Barbie? Five seconds?"<em>  
><em>"Don't be that harsh, Damon. I can only agree with Caroline. He's made a nice impression, actually." Elena spoke up, supporting her friend.<em>  
><em>"The operative word is actually, Elena."<em>  
><em>The schoolyard bell rang. <em>

_"Have fun with slowcoach!" Damon's voice warbled after us as we walked back towards classroom._

**A month later**

_"Hello, Elena."_  
><em>As a reflex to hear her name she turned around but freezed. <em>

_"Stefan." She stammered awkwardly. "What's up?"_  
><em>"Nothing." He smiled brightly. "Just wanna talk to you."<em>  
><em>I couldn't help but feel really awkward. Since he had got here, he had constantly started talking to me and made flirty, little comments in our conversations. I wasn't the type of girl who could just like that tell him that he had zero chances. It wasn't so easy to say something like that in my opinion. I didn't want to hurt him although I had given him lots of hints that I wasn't into him. Sadly, he didn't understand and still made me feel uncomfortable around him. <em>

_"So, what about Friday night?" He asked, flirtingly._

_"What about?" I played dumb and prayed for the school bell to finally ring, so I could grab my bag and - flee. For better or worse he didn't give me another choice._  
><em>"I'd love to take you out for dinner."<em>  
><em>"You're asking me for a date?"<em>  
><em>Why didn't he understand I wasn't interested? Wasn't I being clear enough? Did I really have to lay it on the line for him?<em>  
><em>"If you like."<em>  
><em>"Okay, look Stefan. I'm afraid you got this all wrong. I don't return whatever feelings beside friendship you might have for me." I pressed out, not able to look at him. I hated doing this. "Because there's someone else."<em>  
><em>He let out a dry laugh. "And who should that be? Damon? I know you two are just friends."<em>  
><em>Damon had been right. He really believed he was know-all. "Has it ever crossed your mind that you in fact don't know <em>everything_? Maybe there_ is_ more than friendship between him and me? Maybe you should take off your rose-colored glasses to see things clearly." Without waiting for an answer, I turned around and quickly walked away, nearly run._  
><em>Oh wow, I had just pulled a real Pinocchio.<em>

_"And?" Damon bounced into me after school. "Survived?"_  
><em>"Either more or less.." I sighed heavily. The lie I had told Stefan still beared me down.<em>  
><em>Damon's face twisted in confusion, knowing there was something cooking. "What happened?"<em>  
><em>"Caroline was talking non-stop all day." I distracted although I was still speaking kind of the truth.<em>  
><em>He laughed, clearly amused and reliefed. "As if that's anything new."<em>  
><em>"Yeah, but it was all about Stefan. This has been going since he's arrived here."<em>  
><em>"Let her talk. She'll find out soon enough that it's not all roses."<em>  
><em>"But I fear she'll get carried away and get hurt in the end." I added worried. He was too focused on me to even pay any attention towards Caroline.<em>  
><em>Damon stiffened, his attitude became more serious. "Why? Is he raising her hopes?"<em>  
><em>Although he'd never admit it, he considered Caroline as a very good friend of his. He'd never let anyone he knew hurt her and get away with it. He was too protective of his friends, the few ones he had.<em>  
><em>"Not really but she's still full of hope."<em>  
><em>"Well, I don't get why you make such a fuss. She's pretty, he might go for her and if not she'll find a new one." He shrugged indifferently, trying to cover his worry. "Caroline is not one who gets too caught up on one anyway."<em>  
><em>"Hopefully.." I sighed depressed. He was right. It wouldn't be the end of the world for Caroline, she'd find another guy in no time, also had she a healthier survival instict compared to mine to let such stupid thing happen to her. <em>

_"But actually that's not the problem."_  
><em>Damon raised his eyebrow in confusion. "Then what is?" <em>

_"It's Stefan."_  
><em>"Didn't we just talk discuss this?"<em>  
><em>"Yes and no." I hesitated. "It's not about Caroline and Stefan. It's difficult and ugh, just so wrong."<em>  
><em>Damon's eyes still focused on me, trying to make sense of me. I knew this look of him, when the rarity of frowns showed up on his forehead which meant that his mind was eagerly and driven from curiosity working on a possible declaration by himself.<em>  
><em>"Okay." I took a deep breath and decided to eventually release him from his suffering. "He is hitting on me."<em>  
><em>"Yeah, sure." He laughed briefly before reality hit him. "Wait, what?" He retorted, to all appearances dismayed about it.<em>  
><em>"Why so shocked? Is it so unthinkable that a guy could possibly hit on me?"<em>  
><em>"Not at all. You're smoking hot but he's a douche." He answered straight.<em>  
><em>I felt the blood filling my cheeks and making me blush at his flattering words. <em>

_"Damon Salvatore complimenting me?" I grinned._  
><em>He smirked mischievously back at me. "That's something to be proud of."<em>  
><em>Yes, it was, I thought, savored the moment and let the happiness flow through my body for a last time before returning to the unpleasing topic.<em>  
><em>"Well, about Stefan. Is he bothering you? Making sexual innuendos, grabbing your ass or something?" <em>

_"Damon!" I cried out indignant._  
><em>"What? That's what I understand under hitting on somebody." He justified himself light-hearted.<em>  
><em>"Well, luckily he's not you." Not in the mood to continue the conversation with his current attitude, I turned my attention to my mobile that had started vibrating, telling me I had got a message.<em>  
><em>Alarmed by the sudden stop of unease on my face he checked. "What's wrong?"<em>  
><em>"Stefan is wrong. He keeps texting me and simply won't stop, no matter how hard I try to make him understand. He's so stubborn." <em>

_"Runs in the family."_  
><em>"Could you stay serious for a bit, please? You know you're not being helpful, right?" I hissed at him.<em>  
><em>His amused appearance instantly disappeared. "Sorry."<em>  
><em>I deeply exhaled. "It's okay. It's me who's sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you" I softened my tone. "But he's just plundering my latest nerves." <em>

_"Don't worry, I can take it." _

_I nodded in appreciation._

_"He's everywhere I walk, you know. Caroline probably makes out it's because of her but he's always making flirty eyes at me and stuff. He called me a few times at home and even gave me little presents at school. He literally courts me." Heck, I was afraid he'd show up at my door one day." I flourished filled with indignation. "Ain't gonna lie in the beginning it was fun but now it's nothing but tiring." My shoulders relaxed as the words left my mouth._  
><em>I had kept it all to myself because I thought the problem would solve itself after some time but instead it only seemed to get worse. Speaking to Damon about it, entrusting myself to him, brought me relief because I knew I could build on him.<em>  
><em>His eyes grew wide at my revelation. "That's nuts, Elena. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"<em>  
><em>"Because I told him all sorts of things, even that there's someone else and thought he'd get it sometime but nada. It's like I'm talking to a wall."<em>  
><em>Maybe it was just my wishful thinking but I was quite certain that my eyes caught a small glimpse of jealousy in his eyes when I mentioned the part of there being someone else in my life. He didn't comment on it though, he was too deep in thought.<em>  
><em>"Well, then you have to be more convincing." He reasoned.<em>  
><em>"And how do I do that, smart-ass?" My voice didn't manage to hold back the eagerness about what he might have come up with.<em>  
><em>"One easy step." He paused dramatically, teasing me. "Get yourself a boyfriend."<em>  
><em>Absently I stared at him. <em>

_"Don't look at me like I told you I can't procreate or something. Which let's be honest, would be impossible cause mother nature wouldn't waste such great reproduction material."_  
><em>I snorted with laughter. Sometimes he was so full of himself that one could only find it hilarious. <em>

_He glared at me and cleared his throat. "But what I actually meant to say was, that you need to get a boyfriend as soon as possible. Then there's a small chance that he gives up on you." _

_"And where do I conjure up one?"_  
><em>"Be creative or convince a guy to pretend, shouldn't be so hard with your appearance." He listed. "In emergencies there's still Matt Donovan, I'm sure he'll gladly offer his help."<em>  
><em>"Yeah, about that.. um, I might have already told him who my boyfriend is." I bit my lip and shyly looked at him with big eyes like I was the innocence in person. "I might have told him there's something going on between the two of us." Expectantly I focused on him, worried about his upcoming answer.<em>  
><em>Shocked, he stared at her. "You did <em>what_?" _

_"I know but he didn't stop poking around so I said the first thing that came to my mind." I prattled helpless and lowered my head. _

_"And that was the first thing you came up with? Then you'd better leave making plans to me."_  
><em>"Yeah.." I pretty much think 247 about you, so yes, I thought.I lifted my head again to face his eyes with my gloomy ones. "Please Damon."_

_"Did you know that I'm one of Mystic Falls' most eligible bachelors?"_

_"So, what?"_

_"I have a reputation to uphold."_

_"Damon, I really do need your help. Now...?"_

* * *

><p><strong>What a unsolvable cliffhanger, huh? ;) <strong>

**Please review and share your thoughts with me!**

**Thanks in advance, xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I'm sorry the update took me so long but there are times when I have no inspiration at all and then there are times when it just bubbles. Thank you for reviewing, you always make my day with it. Also thanks for the story alerts, favorite story and everything. I'm so happy about each one of you who reads my story and likes it as much as I do.

So, I thought after we've mainly seen Elena's POV on the things that happened maybe we should get a glimpse of Damon's POV and in this chapter we will.

**By the way**, I changed one of the genres from _Humor_ to _Drama_ as the storyline rather developed in that direction than to the Humor one that I was actually planning on.

Read and enjoy.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**So tell me now,**

** Where was my fault?**

** In lovin' you with my whole heart?**

* * *

><p><em>"Damon, I really do need your help. Now...?"<em>

_His eyes lingered on my face, still trading off pro against con._  
><em>"All right." <em>

_I was already jumping for joy but his hands took a hold of my shoulders, trying to calm me down and he continued. _

_"I will help you, but I have a bad feeling about this." He paused. "The best bet is to leave it to me and you just play along. It has to look natural and believable."_  
><em>"And especially <em>you_ who mainly avoids relationships, except for the one time, knows how to play lovey-dovey?" I lowered my head to the aside to look at him in doubts. "I'm not very sold on this."_  
><em>"Good for you, I'm the optimist from the two of us." He let go of me. His gaze drifted to the ground and he seemed kind of distant now. <em>

_A bad feeling grew on me that I had just hit a nerve there with my comment about Katherine. He was over her but it still messed him up. _

_"And yes, although I'm not delighted with relationships I do know how they work. So all or nothing, your decision." He offered in a blank voice._  
><em>"No guts, no glory. So, yes." I agreed uncertainly, holding back my anxiety about the entire situation. "But you will not make full use of the misery, will you?" I warned him.<em>  
><em>His eyes now glowing again, met mine and with a mischievously smirk he sealed our deal. "Never would I dare."<em>

_G"ood morning, babe." His hand traveled around my waste and pulled me close to his body. "Had sweet dreams? I bet I was the star in them."_

_Damon enjoyed monkeying around like that but but today he downright gloried in it . Moreover, Caroline didn't know that Damon was helping me to get rid of my problem with Stefan._  
><em>"Care, you know Damon. He's just-"<em>  
><em>"Her new boyfriend." Damon said, shrugged like it was nothing special and leered at me.<em>  
><em>"He is<em> what?"_ Caroline screamed excited. "And you didn't tell me _why_?"_  
><em>Oh no, this was getting out of control. I was torn between slapping Damon because he had blared it out like that and had brought me into this awkward situation or telling her the truth. I didn't want to lie to her, acutally I had planned on further behaving exactly the way we used to, only different in Stefan's presence. Of course, now I could forget that completely.<em>  
><em>"How come? I mean, yesterday everything was different. I knew you were-", Caroline prattled but I cut her off before she could possibly blat out something concerning my feelings for him. "Yeah and now things changed, right Damon?" I glared at him. <em>

_He was responsible for this, so he could at least help me out a little. Also I was afraid that Caroine would only make things worse because she knew that I was in love with him._  
><em>"Exactly." He confirmed and squeezed me even tighter towards him. I finally realized that she's the one for me."<em>  
><em>"Oh my gosh, this is so exciting and amazing, isn't it? Like a fairy story!" It burbled from Caroline's mouth like a waterfall till it was shortly interrupted for a few seconds when she squeezed me. "Awwww, you can't believe how happy I am. All this time, now it's finally paid off."<em>  
><em>I froze and thought that that one was most likely too much of an hint. Damn it, Caroline! Just shut up and let it be, my inner voice screamed. After endless questions of perforating where I could as good as possible avoid her blowing my cover, she ultimately full of vim and vigor departed. As much as Caroline's enthusiasm was enviable, I was relieved when she was gone. <em>

_"And Care?" I yelled after her to make her turn around. _

_"Mhm?"_  
><em>"Please keep it to yourself. It's still very new and we don't want to hang a lantern on it." I didn't want to lie to her as she was my best friend, yet I couldn't bring myself to blow her delusions since she still had a crush on Stefan, keeping her in the dark was probably for her own best. <em>

_"Oki doki." She winked at me, her smile gleaming like the sunshine._  
><em>"I hope you're aware of the fact that the whole town will know it within 10 minutes." Damon commented sullenly and let go of me.<em>  
><em>"That's rich, coming from you." I gave him a look of reproach.<em>  
><em>"Me?" He pointed at himself, puzzled. "Have I ever not been loyal or trustworthy?"<em>  
><em>"No, but it was you who immediately boasted to Caroline about us being a couple." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm not very fond of lieing to her."<em>  
><em>He nudged me, making me smile a little. "I just told her I'm your new boyfriend, I didn't say anything about us being a couple and the less she knows, the better." <em>

_I wasn't really upset with him, rather with myself for the tragedy I always brought myself into. However, his eyes and the way he talked to me had a soothing affect on me. _

_His eyes bored into mine, all serious now. "Do you trust me?"_  
><em>"Yes."<em>

_"Damon, he's not buying it!" I was huffed how stubborn he was. _

_We had given our very best. Holding hands the entire time, flirting and even kissing, not on the lips though. It seemed to impress him like a drop in the ocean._  
><em>He frowned. "We have to be more convincing then." <em>

_"And how do we do that?" I regarded him with curiosity._  
><em>"Give me a second to think about it." <em>

_Actually both knew exactly that there was only one way to be more convincing but they were both too afraid to cross that line which each of them had their own reasons for._  
><em>He dropped his gaze and looked me over, making his eyes shine. "By the way, are you already looking forward to prom night?"<em>  
><em>"Not really. I'm not even sure if I'll go there at all." <em>

_"What?" He seemed downright dismayed at the news. "Why?"_  
><em>"I don't have anyone to escort me and I won't show up all alone for sure."<em>  
><em>He smirked. "Not even Matt?"<em>  
><em>"Well, Matt did ask me to go with him but I declined with thanks and despite Caroline dragged me shopping, I fear my dress will only gather dust in my cupboard." I shrugged. <em>

_The thought of not going there didn't bother me that much, I didn't mourn after it. "Why do you ask? Are_ you_ looking forward to it?"_  
><em>"I have the most beautiful escort. So yes, pretty much." He smiled to himself.<em>  
><em>I caught my breath at his confession. He hadn't mentioned any other girl lately, let alone one he'd have interest in. To be honest, there wasn't even time for him to look for one because we were nearly spending every minute possible together. Be it to keep up our charade or for our own pleasure. In my mind, I enjoyed it very much and so did he. We had been close before but we had converged so much that it was nothing compared to the bond we shared now. Several times we had been so close to each other and he was presumably too caught up in the act that I thought we were about to kiss. In that case I wouldn't have been able to garantuee anything. I wouldn't have been able to not give in to my desire of having my way with him then. Therefore his statement about his date was quite out of the blue. <em>

_"May I ask who the lucky one is?"_  
><em>"My girlfriend." His eyes met mine and made me melt right there. "It would be a shame if her dress would never see anything but the inside of her cupboard."<em>

_"Are you regretting your decision of coming with me?" He asked, looking down at me. I had rested my head on his shoulder as we danced very close to a slow song that was playing._  
><em>"Not at all." I smiled brightly and locked my eyes with his. "Thank you."<em>  
><em>"No problem." He answered, beaming at me.<em>  
><em>The song gradually faded away and we carefully parted, not able to separate the connection of our eyes. His eyes scanned over me, somehow surprised yet full of certainty and in the moment the certainty outweighed, he leaned in and his lips met mine, sending waves of joy and tingling sensation through me. First it was just a tender brushing, showing how much care and love there was but the longer we held on to each other, the more intense it became. All the longing, waiting and desire broke loose and changed into passion. A moan escaped my lips which made it quite clear to him how much I wanted him and gave him permission to slid his tongue into my mouth. Moving there, melting with my tongue. I didn't care why he was kissing me in this moment or if I'd get hurt again, I had wished for this to happen for so long. This time it wasn't me kissing him while he was alseep and afterwards whispering someone else's name, no. This time he was well aware of who he was kissing. This time it was <em>us_ kissing each other. Just him and me and it felt beyond good, long overdue. Even after our lips had detached, our eyes weren't able to do the same. I felt like I was in a daze, completely overwhelmed with wonder and a shimmer of amazement spread in his eyes._  
><em>An abrupt clapping sounded which pulled us out. "Really ecstasizing your little game."<em>  
><em>Damon shook his head in annoyance, his lips were pressed together and one could see how much Stefan maddened him. He turned around to face him. "Let it be, Stefan."<em>  
><em>"No Damon, you let it be. I know you two are only pretending." He said, his eyes wandering to me. "But I've given up on Elena long time ago because I saw that it was hopeless."<em>  
><em>"Didn't seem like that." I answered upset, holding back my anger. "You still hit on me."<em>  
><em>He had just ruined a perfect moment that I'd been waiting for for ages. How dare he to say some nonsense like that at the moment.<em>  
><em>"I enjoyed watching your acting way too much. Well, at least yours." He justified himself, paying his attention to Damon now.<em>  
><em>"We're not acting anything."<em>

_He flicked his finger at Damon. "Whatever, I had my fun." He gave them a last wink and disappeared as quick as he had shown up._

_"I'm sorry but I need a drink first." Damon said and then walked off towards bar._  
><em>Thrown off track, I decided to find Caroline. She shouldn't be too hard to find and really, seconds later I had found her, surrounded by guys. I was just about to talk to her when my eyes caught Ric and Damon standing nearby. Damon was obviously as jumbled as I was and completely baffled staring at his glas.<em>  
><em>Though, they hadn't noticed me.<em>  
><em>"So you're just friends, huh?" I could hear Ric say.<em>  
><em>"Do you want me to write it down for you?" Damon answered with dry sarcasm.<em>  
><em>"And you don't have any feelings for her?" Ric poked.<em>  
><em>"She's my best friend, Ric. It would be weird if there's no lost love between us."<em>

__"Mhm-hm, tell it to the marines."_ _

__"What is this, Ric?" Damon snapped at him. "What do you want to say?"__

_"That you're either blind, stupid or both."_

_"Well, thanks."_

_"The point I was trying to make is that you're into her." Ric said in a soft voice._

_"I'm not. I never was." He replied abruptly. "We were only pretending, I could never be with Elena." Damon downed his drink in one. "Never."_

Elena started from her sleep. That dream had haunted her ever since prom night. She couldn't get his words out of her mind, they were branded on her mind.

Too bad, there's neither a redemy for memories, nor a cure for love.

Elena's eyes moved to the nightstant to her left. 10am. She was supposed to leave in about 7 hours.

Suddenly her eyes caught a note left on it. She reached out for it and looked all over it but there was no sender on it. Suspicious she opened it.

"I believe that you are meant for me.

Take care of yourself, Elena.

I never meant to do those things to you,

Damon"

* * *

><p><strong>Damon's POV<strong>

Damon was sitting on his couch, playing with the glass of Bourbon in his right hand. He felt exhausted, physical as well as emotional. He'd been up all night long, the old memories had mingled with the present ones. Too much for him to handle.  
>One face on his mind the entire time - Elena. Her doe eyes filled with tears gazing at him, telling him how much misery she was bearing because of him. Her pained face that used to carry the most beautiful smile on it all-day that lit up everyone's world.<br>He closed his eyes, trying to wash away the gut-wrenching picture off of his mind. Without success. It felt like it was burning him, eating him up on the inside. He wasn't supposed to cause her pain, he had never wanted that. He was supposed to make her the happiest person alive because she deserved it. It pained him even more to know that he was able to give her that happiness if she would just let him in a last time.  
>He had known her his entire life and even if they weren't close in the beginning, he had always been watching her. Secretly, without letting her know because he had felt too embarrassed. Somehow unconfident to speak to her, a way girls usually never achieved to make him feel.<br>Since the day he'd met her, he had known that there was something about Elena that made her different from every other girl, there was something special.  
>Her personality that excstasized everyone, her beauty that cast a spell over everyone. She had everything and nearly every door was undone for her, waiting for her to enter.<br>Still she was too committed to the wrong door, the locked one.  
>To him.<br>He knew there was something going on between the two of them. The looks they shared were more intense than with others, whenever they touched a little bit their bodies were electrified. It felt different between them. They had an understanding like no one else had, yet he had been trying to not let it get between them. Their friendship was the most important thing in his life. The only thing that was solid and mattered, his lifeline. Though, too long he had been trying to ignore it. He had been suppressing his feelings for her, for her own best. He was afraid he wasn't able to give her the things she deserved. He wasn't good enough for her. There had been days where he even thought that he wasn't worthy her friendship.  
>No, she did deserve someone better. Someone that was capable to give her the love she deserved, to make her dreams come true and much more. He had thought some day she'd understand and give up on the idea of them being together because it was wrong, being with him was wrong.<br>He was no good and would only spoil her. Still, somehow they couldn't seperate from each other for long. It felt like they were like two pages of wet paper - stuck together, not able to let go of one another.  
>Till that one night that changed everything. The most horrible night in his life. He had no idea why or what had happened or what he had done wrong back then but it had destroyed everything. It had crushed him.<p>

_"So you're just friends, huh?" Ric asked eagerly._  
><em>"Do you want me to write it down for you?" I answered with dry sarcasm. Didn't he get it?<em>  
><em>"And you don't have any feelings for her?" Ric poked. <em>

_Oh, of course I had. Too many for my own good and at the moment they were driving me crazy and _not_ making sense at all. Some of them had been there ever since I'd met her but suppressed, brewing under the surface. Only now I'd lost control of them and wasn't able to cut them out again. I couldn't help it. _

_"She's my best friend, Ric. It would be weird if there's no lost love between us." I downed my drink in one. _

_Hell, I should have never kissed her. This wasn't supposed to happen. I _couldn't_ let this happen. I couldn't be in love with my best friend._  
><em>"Mhm-hm, tell it to the marines."<em>  
><em>"What is this, Ric?" I snapped at him. "What do you want to say?"<em>

_"That you're either blind, stupid or both."_

_"Well, thanks."_

_"The point I was trying to make is that you're into her." Ric said in a soft voice._

_"I'm not. I never was." I replied abruptly. "We were only pretending, I could never be with Elena." I downed my drink in one. "Never."_

_"Oh come on, that's a lie." Ric retorted._

_"What do you want to hear? That I love her? Will you shut up then?"_

_"Give it a try it."_

_Would it change anything? Saying it out loud or even telling her? No, it wouldn't. She would still be my best friend and I couldn't screw our friendship up. Unfortunately, I tended to exactly that, screwing things up. Like my father once said to me "All I've got is disappointment". I let down the people I love, I disappointed them because I wasn't good enough and only brought more harm over them if they got too involved with me. I could count myself happy that she was even friends with me. Still, I couldn't shake off this feeling. Why? Why couldn't I flip the switch this time like with all those other girls? Right. Because it wasn't just another girl, this was Elena._

_"I'm in love with Elena."_

_"And what are you waiting for you idiot? Tell her! Now!"_

He shook his head at himself. Oh how much he had wanted to tell her back then. How he'd been such an idiot and denying it for too long already but the moment he finally allowed myself to give in to the feelings, she'd decided to push him away. He had looked everywhere but she had left him standing there. The evening had started so perfect and ended in a downright disaster. No one knew where she had gone. She had ignored his calls, his visits, she had simply started to ignore _him_. Since that night and it killed him. Every single day, he was missing her and this strange darkness from the hole she had left, came chasing him every time.

Suddenly the door bell rang. Damon had no intention to open the door at all. Should they ring as much as they wanted, he wouldn't open. He was hurt. Angry. Smashed.

As the ringing got more irregular, urgend and too annyoing, Damon ultimately braced himself up to answer the door.

He gulped. "Elena?"

Being all churned up, she scurried past him into the house. "_What _was your plan in showing up at my house, huh? Did you expect me to jump right into your arms? It's not that easy, Damon."

"I told you already." I threw my arms up in surrender. "Oh and it would be if you weren't so eager on making things more complicated than they are."

"Who do you think you are?" She spat out. "Just _now_ you changed your mind? _Now _that I'm about to leave? Why didn't you sooner? Prom night would have been the perfect opportunity."

"Because it was _you_ who left me on prom night, it was _you_ who cancelled me out of your life." He approached her. "I tried to tell you so many times how badly I needed you but you didn't give me a chance before."

Her eyes welled up with tears. "Because I was hurt!"

He affected a dry laugh. "Can you imagine you weren't the only one hurt?" His voice become more strongly, stifled pain sounded. "You wouldn't even look at me and I didn't even know _why_. I had no idea what happened to make you hate me."

"I never hated you Damon." She backpedaled, lowering her gaze to the ground. "I just had my reasons."

"I'm all ears."

"There were problems I couldn't deal with anymore." She made an desperate effort to explain her behaviour.

His heart ached like someone was squeezing it in his fist. Even then she had so little confidance in him? "But that's no reason, Elena! You could have come to me with it, we would have figured it out somehow."

"No, we wouldn't because the problems had to do with you!" She confronted him, her eyes filled with defeat. "I mean, didn't you see it?"

"See what?" His voice softened, seeing how much she was still hurting. He wanted to hold her tight, make her feel better, erase the ache.

"The regret, the pain. I couldn't handle it anymore. Getting my hopes raised and crashed eventually and that again and again. I was exhausted."

"Is that why you made me suffer like that? To make me pay for the pain I caused you?"

"No!" She shook her head. "I did it for myself, to protect the small amount inside me that wasn't broken yet. I decided to finally let go."

"You couldn't have chosen a worse moment."

"After what I've heard from your conversation with Ric, I had made my decision. You can't blame me for that."

_His conversation with Ric? He hadn't said anything- Oh.. oh.. it hit him like a blizzard. Everything was a dire mistake and hadn't it caused so much damage, he probably would have laughed about it. It all made sense now. He had to fix this right now, they'd wasted too much time because of this already._

"Next time you eavesdrop on somebody, you should at least listen to the _entire_ conversation."

"Why? To hear you saying more cruel things? '_I could never be with Elena' _was enough, believe me."

"No. Know why?" He stepped even closer and looked at her affectionately. "Because I told him something that I was about to tell you afterwards as well. Unfortunately, you decided to escape."

"It wouldn't have changed anything either way." She glanced at him before she averted her eyes.

"It would have." He said firmly and took hold of her hands.

"How do you know.."

"Because I told him I'm in love with you." His gaze met her wonderstruck eyes. "You heard right. I love you, Elena and you should have known this months ago."

* * *

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